sense + play + connect
Hello Alchemy After Hours
Bondage 101: What is it?
Bondage if a form of BDSM that centers on power dynamics, physical restraint, and consensual exchange of dominance and submission through the use of restraints that ‘bond,’ restrain or tie
Whos bondage for?
BDSM vs Kink
Whats the difference? Kink is an umbrella term that can encompass or refer to any non-traditional sex. What is considered kinky depends on context and can therefore vary and change with cultural context and time. While your grandparents, for instance, may have considered sex toys kinky, your peers may find them commonplace. Things that were normal in antiquity may be considered kinky now (hello Roman orgies). Kink refers to any sexual activity or desire that deviates from what most people consider normal. It includes a wide range of activities and fantasies like role-playing, power dynamics, different sensations, or unconventional sexual acts. Basically, anything that’s not mainstream can be a kink. Kinks are highly individual, meaning what one person enjoys, another might not. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. It involves erotic activities where people consensually exchange power, use physical restraints, and sometimes experience pain. BDSM includes a wide range of practices, from light bondage and spanking to more intense domination and submission. Key elements of BDSM are communication, trust, and mutual agreement between partners to ensure everyone is safe and satisfied. Kink can include a wide range of activities, such as role-playing, sensory stimulation, or unconventional sexual acts where BDSM involves activities like bondage, spanking, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism within a consensual framework.
Tips to Play Safe
Understanding the differences between kinks, fetishes, and BDSM makes it easier to explore our sexual preferences, communicate and know yourself. Knowing what you enjoy and being able to define it can be extremely empowering and can radically cange your relationship to sex and yourself. When it comes to playing, negotiation is non-negotiable. It is, quite simply, the process of discussing with your play partners what you want and don’t want during and after play in order to have a safe, informed, risk-aware, consensual and satisfying experience. Contrary to what people usually think, negotiation does not refer to sitting down at a meeting table and hashing out a formal deal with your play partners, and signing a contract unless that’s what you are into. It also doesn’t mean that you have to plan out everything you’re going to do in minute detail (unless, of course, you want to). It is however about coming to an agreement about what each person wants and creating a safe container to have your kinky experience. What can be often overlooked in negotiations is discussing how you will handle things that don’t go according to plan. How will you respond if one of you uses their safe-word, your kids wake up and come knocking, your blood sugar drops, one of you becomes triggered or has a panic attack etc.? If you’ve thought about important eventualities beforehand, you’re more likely to be able to deal with the situation appropriately if it arises. Negotiation, by the way, can also result in you and your play partners realizing that it is not a good fit and deciding not to play. Just because you’re negotiating doesn’t mean you have to go through with it. If your new to BDSM, kink and bondage we recommend starting slow and exploring a BDSM conversation deck (we highly recommend the BDSM deck by Dately), kink-affirming journal prompts, and books or podcasts to learn and explore for yourself before diving in with a partner.
Sexuality and eroticism are our muse and over the years of working in social services and growing Alchemy, three themes have kept surfacing: art, social justice, and human sexuality. They are the driving force behind everything we do. Sewing, creating, and reimagining how we engage with bondage, BDSM, and kink has become an immense creative outlet and a source of joy and self-exploration. Our journey into sensory play, bondage, and kink has pushed us to dig into the psychology behind them (more on that soon…), transformed our own erotic selves, and continues to challenge what we once considered “normal” on the basis of social and cultural acceptability. We think most BDSM and kink products are just accessibility supports with bad marketing. So we designed every aspect of our restraints and blindfolds, from the imagery and marketing to the packaging and design, to be inclusive and inviting for everyone. We want to challenge the status quo, move past the archaic nature of kink products, and remove the stigma around kink and BDSM. Simple, straightforward, for all. Historically, bondage, handcuffs, and restraints have been marketed to the kink community, or to cis-heterosexual couples looking to “spice it up” with a little novelty and excitement. But what if caring about how our senses shape our sexual experience weren’t seen as indulgent? Imagine how much more embodied our pleasure would be if it were accessed through the interplay of taste, touch, sight, smell, emotion, and thought. How much better would sex be if it were truly felt in the body, not intellectualized in the mind?
We imagine a world where sensory play, bondage, and restraints are seen as healthy, positive ways to support conscious connection, build trust with a partner, encourage slower pleasure practices, help regulate the nervous system, heal from sexual shame and trauma, and develop a safe relationship with one’s body and senses. In the right context, bondage and restraints are for pretty much anyone. We believe sensory play can be a healing, empowering way to escape the chaotic mind, ease mental distraction, and return to your body and its senses. Simply isolating one sense, like sight or touch, can heighten awareness of the others.
It’s the unfortunate stigma, misinformation, and general lack of understanding of BDSM, kink, and human sexuality at large that has led to their perception as deviant or taboo. We created our collection of restraints, blindfolds, and sensory play products with BDSM practitioners and therapists in mind, especially those who work with clients on sexual trauma, shame, fetishes, kink, and BDSM. We also thought of neurospicy adults who are infantilized, seen as incapable of sexual fulfillment, and whose intimacy needs are systemically ignored. We thought of people with sensory processing sensitivities, and people dealing with immense stress, anxiety, or depression. We believe everyone has the right to pleasure and should be able to access the tools that help them thrive and live a liberated, fulfilling life. We’re passionate about this, because with the right guidance and support, so many people could benefit instead of being tucked away in shame. So we say: let your freak flag fly, with pride.
Ethically made by real humans in Northwestern, BC.
We are immensely privileged to exist on the traditional, unceded territories of the Tsimshian First Nation including the Kitselas and Kitsumkalum communities, who since time immemorial have stewarded, protected, and preserved the lands we are fortunate enough to call home.
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