The Journal

A:

Abortion:

A safe, effective means to end or terminate a pregnancy before birth. Can be performed in a variety of ways (surgical, oral medication) through the assistance and support of medical practitioners.

Abstinence-Only Sex Education:

A type of sexual education rooted in religious ideologies that teaches that abstinence is the only correct form of contraceptive for its teenage students. It generally does not teach students anything about condoms, other forms of birth control, or a range of other sexual topics, such as abortion and masturbation and can be harmful when taught as the only way to engage in relationships and as a societal standard.

Aftercare:

The act of supporting and caring for an intimate partner immediately after sex or a BDSM scene. Aftercare may occur after any sex act, such as vaginal or anal penetration, the use of sex toys or oral sex. It’s the conclusion of intimate playtime, just as foreplay is the start of intimate play. Allowing sufficient time for foreplay, sex and aftercare can make sexual encounters more satisfying for all types of couples.

Age of Consent:

Age at which the law considers a person old enough to consent to have sex with another person. Depending on what country or territory, you can only give consent to engage in certain sexual acts once you’ve reached a certain age. Until you’ve reached that age – you cannot give your permission to have sex. Even though you might have agreed to have sex with someone, that person can still be charged with sexual assault if you haven’t reached the age of consent.

Allosexual:

A term used to refer to someone who does not identify as part of the asexual sprectrum (asexual, grey-a, demi-sexual). It is an umbrella term for all people who experience both primary and secondary sexual attraction on a regular basis.

Ally:

An ally is a heterosexual or cisgender individual who supports the LGBTQIA community. Allies are passionate about a range of issues that impact LGBTQIA individuals, including equality and civil rights, visibility, and putting an end to homophobia, transphobia, and biophobia.

Anal Beads :

Anal beads are a type of sex toy used in anal play. They consist of a series of beads or spheres attached together with a string or shaped together into silicone, plastic or other materials, like metal or glass. They are designed to provide sensation and stimulation upon insertion and removal.

Anal Play:

Anal play refers to any sexual activity involving stimulation of the anus. Anal play can be very pleasurable as this area is full of nerves. Anal stimulation can directly stimulate the prostate, commonly known as the P-spot, and indirectly stimulate the G-spot and parts of the clitoris and vagina. Stimulating these areas can be intensely pleasurable and trigger orgasms.

Anal Sex:

Anal sex typically refers to sex involving anal penetration with a penis or strap-on. During anal sex, the person known as the top penetrates the anus of their partner, known as the bottom. This type of sex is sometimes called anal intercourse. However, anal sex can also refer to any form of sexual activity involving the anus, including analingus, anal fingering, and anal play with toys.

Anal training :

It is the process by which a person’s anus becomes accustomed to different kinds of anal touch, particularly penetration. It most commonly refers to training the anus to stretch to accommodate something larger than a finger, such as a penis or dildo, or something much larger than that.

Androgynous:

An adjective which describes a blend of masculine and feminine characteristics. The term is a combination of the Latin terms andro, meaning man, and gyne, meaning woman.

The word androgynous may be used to describe someone’s gender or sexual identity, sexual lifestyle, or appearance. It may also describe fashion trends, cultures, or relationships.

Arousal gel:

the umbrella term for a range of topical products designed to enhance sexual arousal. The make up of arousal gel is very similar to water based lubricant. Many contain menthol or peppermint oil to create a cooling sensation and encourage blood flow to the genitals.

Asexual (sexual identity):

Having a lack of (or very low level of) sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest or desire for sex or sexual partners. Another term used within the asexual community is “ace,” meaning someone who is asexual.

Asexuality:

Refers to a non-existent or extremely low level of sexual attraction or interest in sexual activity. It can be considered a lack of sexual orientation, an alternative to heterosexuality, an alternative to homosexuality, or an alternative to bisexuality.

Aphrodisiac (noun):

An aphrodisiac is anything that increases sexual desire. It could be an object, a food, or a psychophysiological stimulant. Simply put, an aphrodisiac is something that excites. There are many substances that are thought to be aphrodisiacs, yet due to lack of research there is little scientific evidence to support these suggestions. As such, aphrodisiacs are seldom granted medical recognition. What constitutes an aphrodisiac may also vary from person to person, as not everyone will experience increased sexual desire from the same stimulants.

A-romantic asexual:

Refers to an individual that identifies as being asexual and also experiences no romantic feelings toward any individual regardless of sex or gender. Not experiencing romantic feelings toward others is known as aromantic. Asexual means they do not experience a sexual desire or that they experience very little sexual desire. Many asexuals do have fulfilling relationships without sex.

Assigned at Birth:

Medical terminology used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex.

B

BDSM:

A compounded acronym that stands for B&D (bondage and discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S&M or SM (sadism and masochism), and is used as an overarching term to describe various types of kinky sex or play. BDSM as a term is used to cover a large range of activities, behaviours and desires that are considered non-normative in mainstream culture.

Bisexual (sexual identity):

A person who identifies as or who has romantic and/or sexual relationships with, and/or attractions toward people of multiple genders.

Binary sex:

Refers to the societal construct that says there are two sexes (male and female) as determined by chromosomal makeup with females having XX sex chromosomes and males having XY sex chromosomes. The flaw in this logic lies in the existence of different chromosomal configurations such as XO, XXX, XXY, and XYY in addition to XY females and XX males.

Blended orgasm:

A term used to refer to an orgasm produced by stimulating both the G-spot and clitoris at the same time. Some people report that clitoral and G-spot orgasms feel qualitatively different. For some people, stimulating both areas simultaneously leads to a more intense orgasm.

Bondage:

A form of sex play in which one person restrains another for sexual pleasure. There are also people who practice self-bondage during masturbation. As the B in the acronym, bondage is commonly practiced in the BDSM community. However, many couples who identify as vanilla can also enjoy experimenting with sexual bondage.

Bondage & Discipline (kink & Fetish):

Part of the overarching category of BDSM Consensual sexual role-play that includes performance of power and submission. It often involves physical restraint and/or pain. Refers to certain erotic acts that involve restraining and training submissive partners. These practices are often lumped together with dominance and submission (D/S), and sadism and masochism (S/M) to make up the acronym BDSM. Typically, a dominant partner will be the one to restrain and discipline a submissive partner. Restraints can range from simple setups, like a length of rope or handcuffs, to more intricate setups, like bondage cages or ceiling hooks. Discipline often involves correcting a submissive’s behavior with physical and psychological punishments, like spanking or erotic humiliation.

Breath control:

The restriction of oxygen for the purpose of heightened sexual arousal and intensified orgasm. Methods of breath control can range from light play of controlled breath to include strangulation, suffocation, and smothering. This practice may be used during consensual sex or masturbation. It is particularly popular in the BDSM community where it is not uncommon for dominants to control their submissives’ breathing.

Bullet vibrator:

One of the most basic, economical, and widely used sex toys. It is a metal, plastic or silicone vibrator that resembles a bullet. These vibrators tend to be short and narrow for portability. Most bullet vibrators are cordless and run on small watch batteries while others may have thin cords attached to a remote to control the speed and intensity of the vibration. Bullet vibrators that are rechargeable are also growing in popularity.

C

Cisgender (gender identity):

Refers to the gender experiences of people whose gender identity is typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.

Condom:

A barrier used to prevent pregnancy and the contraction of sexually transmitted infections. A condom is a simple sheath that’s rolled down over the penis and can be used during vaginal, oral, and anal sex.

It can also be used on sex toys for easy cleaning, toy sharing, or porous materials.

Consent:

A holistic verbal and non-verbal agreement to any and all interpersonal interactions. It is often used in the context of sexual activity or other forms of touch, although many other types of consent exist.

Couples Vibrator:

A vibrator designed for use by a couple sometimes as part of intercourse. A couple can technically use any vibrator, but the toys categorized as “couple’s vibrators” are designed to be used during partnered play – especially during intercourse.

We recommend Fin By Dame. A compact, powerful finger vibe designed for use with a partner.

Cunnilingus (noun):

An older term for oral sex referring to using the mouth to stimulate the clitoris, vulva and vagina for sexual pleasure.

D

Dildo (noun):

A penis-shaped sex toy used to stimulate the vagina or anus.

We recommend Baton by Wedsnday Co. A straightforward, easy to use dildo with a suction base for versatility with your favourite harness.

Door Jamb Cuffs:

Sex toys which turn any ordinary door into a place for bondage play. The easy-to-use cuffs are held in place when the door is closed. They are designed to restrain a person’s wrists or ankles. They are made by a range of sex toy manufacturers including Sportsheets and Pipedream.

Dry Humping (noun):

Considered a type of foreplay and/or sexual act where on engages in rubbing their body, body parts, and/or genitals, against an object or person while wearing clothes.

Dual Action Vibrator:

Refers to a vibrating dildo that has been especially conceived for clitoral and vaginal stimulation. These can be used for masturbation or during foreplay with a partner. Alternatively, this vibrator is also used to stimulate various erogenous zones at the same time. These include the G-spot, vagina walls, clitoris and vaginal lips. To deliver varying intensities of pleasure, these vibrators normally come with different speeds and functions. While the majority of toys are require batteries, some are also cord-operated. We recommend Coco by Puissant for mind blowing dual stimulation.

Dysphoria:

Refers to a generalized dissatisfaction with life or a state of unease. The term is often used within the context of gender dysphoria which means to be dissatisfied or uneasy with one’s gender.

Another common use is body dysphoria which is a dissatisfaction of how a person looks that goes above and beyond the general dissatisfaction most people experience upon occasion.

E

Ethical BDSM:

sensual and sexual activities involving bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission conducted safely and consensually for the mutual benefit of all parties. Safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) and risk aware consensual kink (RACK) are two well-known varieties of ethical BDSM. If BDSM is not ethical, it is physical and/or psychological abuse.

Ethical Non-Monogamy:

The practice of engaging in multiple sexual or romantic relationships simultaneously. Nonmonogamy can be practiced in ways that are generally considered to be ethical or non-ethical by those in non-monogamous communities. Generally speaking, those in ethical non-monogamous relationships strive to focus on open communication, negotiation of rules, and treat each person involved with the same dignity and respect regardless of their role within a non-monogamous couple or group. Ethical non-monogamy can take the form of polyamory, swinging, open marriages, and other similarly structured relationships.

Endometriosis:

A health condition experienced by people with uteruses whereby tissues that normally line the inner uterus grow outside this organ. This tissue typically grows throughout the female reproductive system, including on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and pelvis. In rare circumstances, tissue growth may extend beyond the pelvic organs.

Erotic Power:

Power from the erotic. It is something associated mainly with women and the spiritual plane. It is power that should be harnessed. After all, even today, women are still subject to abuse, vilification, and devaluation. By harnessing one’s erotic power, one can fight personal and societal oppression that’s rooted to male-centric notions of power.

Erogenous Zone:

Any area of the body that is sensitive to sensual touch

F

Fear-Based Sexuality Programs:

Sex education programs that focus on the negative aspects of sexuality and sexual intercourse. These programs instill fear and biased ideas on sexual orientation, gender, family, and sex. There is often a negative message when it comes to contraception and sexually transmitted diseases. These programs are designed to point children toward abstinence-only and abstinence-only-until-marriage sexuality.

Feminism:

The belief that women and men have equal economic, political, sexual, and social rights. Also, the movement to secure equal rights for women.

Fetish Sex:

sex that is made particularly pleasurable by the inclusion of a particular item or set of circumstances (the participant’s fetish). In the case of some fetish sex the inclusion of the fetish is necessary for pleasure to occur. Fetishes are desirous fixations. They may be sexual in nature, but having a fetish doesn not necessarily mean that a person sexually acts on it. Fetish sex is the incorporation of the fixation or fetish into sex play.

Fluid(ity):

Generally with another term attached, like gender-fluid or fluid-sexuality, fluidity) describes an identity that may change or shift over time between or within the mix of the options available (e.g., man and woman, bi and straight).

Foreplay:

Any sexual activity that people do to or with each other to create arousal before, or instead of, intercourse.

Friends with benefits / Fuck buddy:

Slang for a casual sexual partner, with whom you have an ongoing sexual relationship, without a romantic relationship.

G

Gender Affirmation:

The process of recognizing and acknowledging the identified gender of a transgender person. It occurs in four key domains: social, psychological, medical, and legal.

It’s important for the health and well-being of transgender individuals to participate in gender affirmation and have this process supported by all the people they’re in contact with, including friends and family members, employers and colleagues, medical practitioners, and other members of the community.

Gender Binary:

A term for a concept that classifies and divides sex and gender into two distinct, rigid categories: male and female. This artificial gender division is a social construction that defines certain attributes and characteristics to men and other attributes and characteristics to women. This binary concept fails to capture the rich diversity that exists within the scope of gender identity.

Gender fluid:

Gender fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more man some days, and more woman other days.

Gender Identity:

Describes someone’s own understanding of who they are (e.g., woman, genderqueer, man, no gender, etc.), as distinct from their physical characteristics. The term gender identity describes a person’s own individual experience of their gender. It is typically a person’s private perception of what it means to be a man or a woman, and is not dependent on cultural expectations or norms. In most cases, a person’s biological sex matches their gender identity. However, some cultures recognize a third gender category for anyone who does not identify with their biological sex. This category encompasses transgender and transsexual people, who may identity with the sex opposite to their biological sex, as well as people who identify with both or neither sex.

Gender non-conforming (GNC):

Someone whose gender presentation, whether by nature or by choice, does not align in a predicted fashion with gender-based expectations.

Gender norms:

Social standards about what is appropriate feminine and masculine behaviour.

Gender stereotype:

Exaggerated expectations of the way people of a certain sex should behave.

Gender violence:

in its purest definition, violence directed towards a person because of their gender or their perceived gender. Under this definition, women, men, transgender people, and people that are gender non-conforming can all be victims of gender violence. The term reflects the way that violence can reinforce or maintain structural gender inequalities.

H

Heteronormativity:

A viewpoint that expresses heterosexuality as a given instead of being one of many diverse possibilities and presents heterosexuality as the default sexuality. Heteronormativity is the assumption that heterosexuality is a ‘natural’ representation of sexual and gender expression in society. Essentially, heteronormativity suggests that the male/female binary is the normal way to express sexuality and gender

A Hedonist/Hedonism:

a person who believes in the philosophy of hedonism, which argues that pleasure is the only thing of value in the world. As such, a hedonist looks to experience a maximum amount of pleasure and a minimum amount of pain.

The term comes from the Greek word hedone, which means “pleasure.”

Homophobia:

Intentional hostile and/or violence acts, behaviours and beliefs directed against people who are perceived not to be heterosexual.

Human Sexual Response:

a general term to describe the way the human body responds to sexual stimulation. Human sexual response was famously studied by American sexologists William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, who reported their findings in their 1966 book, Human Sexual Response. Masters and Johnson found that human sexual response could be broken down into four distinct phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Hyposexual:

Refers to an individual experiencing a significantly lower than average level of sexual desire or interest. This condition can manifest as infrequent thoughts about sex, a reduced drive to engage in sexual activity, or a lack of interest in sexual fantasies or erotic stimuli. Hyposexuality can be a natural state for some people, but it may also be influenced by various factors, including physical health, mental health, relationship dynamics, medications, or life circumstances.

I

Informed Consent:

an agreement to participate in something with a thorough understanding of the activity, including its benefits and risks. People should give informed consent before undertaking many things, including engaging in intimate acts. Informed consent is crucial for all intimate acts, including kissing, sending and sharing nude images, and having sex.

Intersex:

An umbrella term for people with physical characteristics that are seen as different from modern medical norms about ‘female’ and ‘male’ bodies. Intersex people, also people with intersex variations, have physical variations from strictly ‘female’ and ‘male’ bodies. These physical characteristics are present at birth and manifest during physical development.

Intimate Network:

An intimate network refers to a person’s web of romantic, sexual, and platonic partners, their partners, and so on. It goes beyond social networking. Its usage is mostly to describe the intricate relationships within a polyamorous relationship. Mapping an intimate network might be done out of curiosity or to help the partners agree on the terms of the relationship.

J

Jock Itch:

A very common fungal skin infection affecting the genitals, buttocks and inner thighs. It causes a reddish, scaly rash that can become inflamed, itchy, and painful.

K

Kink:

A non-standard sexual activity, fetish or interest.

The Kinsey Scale:

A sexuality scale that was developed by Alfred Kinsey, an American biologist and sexologist, when he realized that most people couldn’t be strictly characterized as straight or gay. The Kinsey scale ranges from zero to six, with zero being strictly heterosexual and six being strictly homosexual. It isn’t a test, but a self rating scale, wherein most people rate themselves between one and five. Individuals who could be described as being asexual have a rating of X on the Kinsey scale. The Kinsey scale is officially known as the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale.

L

Latex:

latex is a versatile rubber material used in a variety of applications. While latex occurs naturally in 10% of flowering plants, synthetic latex can also be produced. Latex may be used to make mattresses, gloves, balloons, swimming caps, and a variety of sexual aids.

LGBTQI2S:

These initials are used to refer collectively to lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and intersex people. It is important to recognise that the letters in LGBTQI2S represent broad categories of experience and not necessarily identities; thus many people who would be considered trans identify simply as women, men, or another gender and do not necessarily have a ‘trans identity’. Although these groups are distinct, they can overlap (e.g. some intersex women are also lesbians).

Libido:

The sex drive or amount/frequency a person desires to have sex.

Lovemap:

A lovemap is a template in the brain or an internal blueprint for preferred erotic situations. Sexologist John Money coined the term in the late 1970s when discussing how people develop their individual sexual preferences. In 1980, when writing his article “Pairbonding and Limerence,” Money defined a lovemap as “a developmental representation or template in the mind and in the brain depicting the idealized lover and the idealized program of sexual and erotic activity projected in imagery or actually engaged in with that lover.”

Lubricant/Lube:

A substance that increases slipperiness and reduces irritation caused by sexual friction/rubbing. Natural lubricants are produced during arousal in the vagina and Bartholins glands on the vulva. Manufactured lubricants (lube) are water, oil or silicon-based and can be used during vaginal/anal or other sexual contacts.

M

Masturbaters / Male Sex Toys:

a class of sex toy designed to pleasure the penis. Male sex toys may be used during solo masturbation sessions or with a partner. There are a range of male sex toys on the market, including vibrating and non-vibrating varieties intended to stimulate the penis or the anal region, including the prostate.

Masturbation:

Touching one’s own genitals for sexual pleasure.

Menstrual Cup:

A latex or silicone receptacle that fits over the cervix to collect menstrual flow.

We recommend sustainable alternatives to pads and tampons like the Cup from the Canadian company Aisle.

Menstrual Cycle

The time from the first day of one period to the first day of the next period. The cycle begins when the lining of the uterus (endometrium) is shed during menstruation. This is followed by follicle development in the ovaries, egg release (ovulation) and regrowth of the endometrium, all of which make pregnancy possible. When pregnancy does not occur, the endometrium is shed again.

Menstruation

The flow of blood, fluid, and tissue out of the uterus and through the vagina that usually lasts from three to seven days.

Morning After Pill:

Emergency contraception pill taken after condomless vaginal sex to prevent pregnancy from that one event. It’s more effective the sooner you take it, but can be used up to five days after sex. It does not prevent implantation of a fertilized egg and does not cause an abortion.

Mutual Masturbation:

When two or more people masturbate with each other’s presence.

N

O

Open Relationship:

The union of two people who agree that they can have other sex partners.

Oral Sex:

Sexual stimulation of the genitals using mouth and tongue.

Orgasm:

The peak of sexual arousal when all the muscles that were tightened during sexual arousal relax, causing a very pleasurable feeling that may involve the whole body. The fourth stage of the sexual response cycle.

P

Pansexual:

A person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions.

Polyamory / Polyamorous:

Refers to the practice of, desire to, or orientation towards having ethically, honest, consensually non-monogamous relationships (i.e. relationships that may include multiple partners). This may include open relationships, polyfidelity (which involves more than two people being in romantic and/or sexual relationships which is not open to additional partners), amongst many other set ups. Some polyamorous) people have a “primary” relationship or relationship(s) and then “secondary” relationship(s) which may indicate different allocations of resources, time, or priority.

Pro-choice:

The belief that girls and women have the right to decide for themselves whether to continue a pregnancy and become a parent, place a baby for adoption, or have an abortion.

Queer:

A feature of this term is that it is used in a wide variety of highly personal ways. When a person uses this term to describe themselves or others, it is often helpful to speak with them about what ‘queer’ means for them. Queer is not an umbrella term that can be applied to all people who are represented by the ‘LGBTI’ acronym.